Having an amazing relationship with money so you’re able to create the life you want isn’t all about lighting abundance candles and reciting some affirmations you found on Pinterest. It’s not about muttering some generic magic spell or prayer. The relationship between you and money is, in many ways, more intimate than any relationship with a person you’ll ever have.
Being intimate means:
being exposed and revealed, not hiding who you are
giving your full self into the relationship – not trying to conform to some image you think you need to have in order to fit into preconceived notions of how you should be
being truly comfortable
the ability to safely put boundaries in place to keep you safe (in every way)
being able to communicate openly about problems and issues
Lots of relationships I have with people aren’t that intimate! But, since how you handle your money determines so much that’s essential to your life, it’s time to start being up close and personal with how you’re wired to handle money, in a very intimate way.
Below is a page I made in my bullet journal.
The exercise I want to share isn’t complicated or hard to do – you don’t even need a bullet journal to do it. Just grab something to write with and write down your money skills. They can be short and sweet, long and detailed… just make a list. I also left the next page in my journal blank so I could add more things to the list as I think of them. This list is a work in progress for me.
Step one: List your strengths
I’ll wait while you make your list.
Why list out your strengths?
Listing out your skills and strengths with money tends to bring up your money blocks, which is good. I firmly believe that triggering yourself is one of the best ways you can heal old wounds. That isn’t the focus on this exercise, but a little extra side benefit you get. ?
The real benefit you get from listing out your money strengths is that since you’re going to be working closely with someone, you need to know where everyone’s strengths and weaknesses lie. It’s easy to think of that you’re not good at for most of us, but knowing where we excel usually reveals how we’ll work well with others – in this case with money.
Tips for making your list
Some of the things that are your skills may also come with a down side, but include them anyway. Most skills when they’re overused are like that. For example, “winging it” and embracing my inner Maverick is a huge skill of mine. When I take aligned action, it almost always pays off in a huge way. But – sometimes the actions aren’t aligned with my values (like when I get to feeling desperate about money) and I make bad calls. When the bottom falls out, it’s never in a small way. So even though there’s a flip side to my strength, I own it and include it anyway. A bit triggering because it brings up some negative things, but ultimately it’s a skill just like anything else.
Like I said above, listing out your skills with money may bring up some lingering money blocks or feelings of inadequacy. In my experience, these usually come from not understanding our money personality closely enough, and wishing we were different. For example, my top three Sacred Money Archetypes are the Maverick, Romantic and Ruler. I’m great at lots of things, but making the effort to save and create a safety net? Until I understood my archetype I couldn’t get myself to save for anything long term. Then I setup systems to help me not overspend, and how to reframe saving and investing even though I’m not someone who gets joy out of saving for itself. Now – even though my husband is primarily an Accumulator as is top Sacred Money Archetype, it’s
Step two: Write out specific actions you can take that compliment your skills
I’ll give you a few examples from my list to get you inspired, and show you how I do this exercise:
- visualizing the future and not losing sight of it – I’ve wanted to own a house outright as long as I can remember. That goal has been a huge one for me for almost a decade, and we’re working toward it right now. Within the next 5 years we’ll be able to do it! If I’d have listened to the family members who told us to just get a credit card, or to the people who told us it was dangerous for my kids if we didn’t have two vehicles and to take out a loan to get another vehicle… I would be in debt, and wouldn’t be able to save for a house because I’d be making payments on my past.
- using money to make things easy – my inner Romantic archetype is madly in love with making things easy. While my husband is an Accumulator who loves to save money by DIYing pretty much anything he can, I can save hours of work by spending more money. Both skills are useful, but I can think of lots of instances where this has made our lives a lot simpler.
- having firm boundaries – there have been lots of situations I’ve created over the years that have taught me to have excellent money boundaries. When people or activities create money drama for me, it’s time for a boundary! I’ve gotten away from so much money drama this way because now that I’ve gotten away from it, I realize how much stress and anxiety, it’s not worth it!
Okay – your turn! I’d love to hear yours too!
I hope you found this exercise helpful – it was helpful to me. If there is anything you’d like to see in the future, let me know in the comments. 😀 I love doing money relationship exercises!